Festivals, Films, Interviews, News, Women Directors

Hot Docs 2018 Women Directors: Meet Jessica Leski — “I Used to Be Normal”

“I Used to Be Normal”

Jessica Leski wrote, directed, and co-edited her first full-length documentary, “The Ball.” The film won a Hugo Television Award at the Chicago International Film Festival. Leski’s short films have screened at festivals internationally, and she has won major awards at a number of Australian film festivals.

“I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story” will premiere at the 2018 Hot Docs Canadian International Documentary Film Festival on April 26.

W&H: Describe the film for us in your own words.

JL: “I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story” is a feature documentary that follows four boyband fans aged between 16 to 64 from New York, Sydney, San Francisco, and Melbourne. Even though their ages and hometowns may vary, they’ve all had their lives unexpectedly shaped by their love of a boyband — whether it be One Direction, Take That, the Backstreet Boys, or The Beatles.

W&H: What drew you to this story?

JL: I fell in love with a boyband for the very first time at the age of 31. It was one of the most confusing, surprising, and exciting experiences I’d had up to that point. At the time they called it “The One Direction Infection,” and it hit me hard. I had never been a fan of a boyband before, despite having been a teenager at the height of the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC glory years.

Growing up, my opinions tended toward the uncharitable: I thought boybands were cheesy, and that their fans were hopelessly unsophisticated. I remember thinking to myself the first time I heard a One Direction song on the radio, “Do they think we’re idiots? They just repeated the same chorus 10 times over!” But by the end of that same song I’d somehow been hooked, and suddenly wanted to know everything about them.

I knew I was being manipulated by catchy lyrics and a savvy marketing machine, and yet somehow I’d become both willing and complicit. I immediately felt an urge to know more about this phenomenon, and was of course eager to meet other fans.

I decided to turn this obsession into my job, and started researching both boybands and their fans for this film.

W&H: What do you want people to think about when they are leaving the theater?

JL: I would love for the film to help audiences re-connect with their teenage selves. People are so quick to mock and judge teenagers, when often the things teens are navigating are surprising and complex and deserving of respect.

More broadly I would like to think that the film might cause people to re-think their words and actions before they judge someone for loving a genre of music or film, or any other niche interest that they themselves don’t understand or cherish.

W&H: What was the biggest challenge in making the film?

JL: Convincing people that a film about boyband fans was important and timely, and not just a disposable fluff piece. This factor of course also added to the challenge of raising the funds needed to make the film a reality.

In the end it took us five years, during which time we kept having to stop and take on other jobs. It was a complex and exhausting balancing act.

W&H: How did you get your film funded? Share some insights into how you got the film made.

JL: For the first two years my producer Rita Walsh and I funded production ourselves and made use of the couches and spare rooms of family and friends as we traveled to the different cities featured in the film. We then spent a lot of time talking to individuals whom we hoped might want to support the film, and through that process we were able to bring on some donor support via the Documentary Australia Foundation.

In late 2015 we ran a successful Kickstarter campaign to fund our first round of editing.

Finally, once we had a rough assembly, we applied to our local agencies for funding — and were thrilled when Screen Australia and Film Victoria signed on to fund the film’s post production.

W&H: What does it mean for you to have your film play at Hot Docs?

JL: For much of the five years it took to make this film, it was just Rita and I alone. Yes, we had fun bursts of activity where we were able to work with an amazing crew and meet and interview so many wonderful and interesting people and build a great community of online supporters, but for so much of the journey it was just the two of us, often working separately on our respective tasks. So to be at this point now, finally able to share the film with audiences — that’s borderline cathartic.

We’re eager to see how audiences in Toronto will react, and it is my hope that the boyband fans among them will see elements of their own experiences reflected on screen. We’re also thrilled that three out of the four women featured in the film will be able to join us at Hot Docs for the premiere.

W&H: What’s the best and worst advice you’ve received?

JL: Best advice: Turn your hobby into your job!

Worst advice: That you can teach yourself new editing software while in the middle of editing a documentary with upwards of 100 hours of footage.

W&H: What advice do you have for other female directors?

JL: You have to be your own cheerleader. Given that you won’t get the same opportunities as male directors, you have to develop a deep faith in yourself and your projects if you want to stand a chance of making people stop and pay attention.

W&H: Name your favorite woman-directed film and why.

JL: I love Miranda July’s “Me and You and Everyone We Know.” I love filmmakers who capture and elevate those brief, seemingly inconsequential moments that, when taken together, add up to the meaning of our lives. It’s gentle and funny and heartbreaking. I try to live my life in that way too, noticing and reflecting on all the small moments and interactions that make up the day.

I also love Agnès Varda’s “The Gleaners and I.” It’s eye-opening, meditative, unique. I stumbled upon this film very early on in my filmmaking journey, and it was so inspiring to see just how tiny her team was, as it was often just Varda herself. This film represented her first experience using a digital camera and she seems to delight in being able to do so much of the filmmaking herself. As a documentary filmmaker, it’s extremely important to have a wide range of skills and to not rely on big budgets or crews or fancy equipment to tell your story.

Also, both these women are so super cool.

W&H: Hollywood and the global film industry are in the midst of undergoing a major transformation. Many women — and some men — in the industry are speaking publicly about their experiences being assaulted and harassed. What are your thoughts on the #TimesUp movement and the push for equality in the film business?

JL: I think that the sheer volume of #MeToo and #TimesUp stories that have been shared across social media is truly shocking. Clearly it’s crucial that these stories be listened to and trusted. It seems that everyone has a story and this movement has been a catalyst for many overdue discussions and confessions between my friends and colleagues in the industry. It’s also instigated discussions about the music industry, and the sometimes problematic nature of the young men who make up the boybands. They’re often afforded a lot of money and power, and we need to make sure that they are still held to proper standards of behavior.

In any case, I think it’s an exciting time to be a woman in the creative industries. Though it is taking time, we are empowering ourselves to stand up to inappropriate behavior, to call out abusers and bullies, to rally together, and to share our stories, so that it becomes an industry of equality and respect.

In a small way I hope our film can contribute to the discussion about giving voice to women’s experiences.


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